Ramblings of an unamused introvert

This whole "Self - Isolation" period sucks big time. It feels like could've been better if you got the virus yourself. Everyday you wake up, feel a teeny little headache or something and that's it, your brain goes back thinking maybe the virus is just mutating in your body and your resistance is dying slowly. This "Yeah, I had close contact with someone who's tested positive" phase is like having raunchy sex with some random prick and being blissfully unaware of the Chlamydia you may catch. 

I'm at a point crying my lungs out for being the helpless Nell to a worn-out Luke, yet beautifully bonded for eternity. If my subconscious mind ever tried to rid me of my emotional vomit, maybe, it should also consider working on turning my unmatched fantasies to stark reality as a surprise gift. If say, my efforts to regurgitate should do the convincing part pretty well, provided my brush with bitter reality is painting only transparent colors. Thanks to the one that's flying charter with me on this dysfunctional jet. @B : Feeding our minds with baseless theories and furthering this insanity should probably be the Crux of the rest of our lives.

"People who are incapable of evolution are nothing more than slaves to their nature. I might wish I were sometimes wrong about that, but wishing doesn't make it so. Even for me." said Anne Montgomery from What/If ??  No, that's not her.  It's the Coronavirus wiping out most of us in a jiff concurrently weighing the possibilities of an impending herd immunity to the monstrous result of mass extinction.  Yeah, the virus probably has a voice in it's head saying this all the time perfectly aware of it's own end, sometime in future, under "Survival of the fittest". 

I can't trust people, I can't be normal, I am not amused by what crowds appreciate. I am excited only by vague stuff. I don't know why I'm like this. But no matter what I love myself for being unapologetically me. I know am desperate inside, not for people but for something to hang on and for it to never ever end or change. I won't be able to digest if it connects to any kind of change that won't go well with me. That's why I create fantasy and live in fanfics.

"They asked me to write something cool, positive and full of life", I clank my keyboard and ponder aimlessly. To me and a very few people that know me, what's been requested is a complete oxymoron to begin with.  I finally decide to do this, yet for all ungodly reasons my taste for irony kicks in. If you ask me why life is to be seen as a bedrock of positivity, I'd say, it's twofold (slightly inclined to hypocrisy), if you shall get the sarcasm 😉 You trust, hope, work and get a lesson from it when you fail (that's how a mind in the stage of mindful acceptance takes it)  (or) You trust, hope, work and win, focusing more on the result. (to me this is either too blunt or in most cases, vain) I've always preferred to bask in the former, that's because you never stop learning, equipping and molding yourself into a better individual and that's what positivity is about. Eventually you get better. Here, what matters isn't the goal, but thos